We get conflicting messages about what it means to be men.
From when boys are little the society around them tells them to perform a certain way. Don’t cry. Man up. Be tough. No sissy stuff. Real men do… something you aren’t doing.
Those messages hold us to nigh impossible standards and then tell us that regardless of how we are being men, that we are doing it wrong.
We get praised for acting tough, for pushing through physical and emotional pain, so we continue. We learn to stuff the questions and uncomfortable feelings and insecurity down deep. We grow up, follow the script and try to find the path in life. Often it feels as if we are going through the motions, that our actions are hollow and we don’t feel truly alive as men. We wear masks, and our careers come with terms like “uniform” or “proper attire.” The things we chase feel like empty status symbols. A watch or a car that shows off what we make so that people don’t take the time to really see us.
And that is how it feels for many of us, deep down. That our identity as men is wrapped up in things we must do, and roles we must fill, but not who we truly are authentically.
Whether it is navigating the changes that come with adolescence and emerging adulthood, or the emptiness that comes mid-career or later in life, it is often difficult to stay grounded in a masculinity that feels vibrant and alive.
Become your Authentic Self
If you feel hollow and unseen in the world, like a cog in the machine; men’s work can help you become reconnect to your authentic Self. Therapy can help you connect with and rediscover your masculine self in ways that bring you greater connectedness, self-respect, and living life in an authentic way.